ut when I had my first son, I didn’t experience any of those things. After
I didn’t feel that initial warm mother and baby bond. I held my son for a few seconds and then he was wheeled to the NICU so they could monitor some issues with his lungs. I remember feeling relieved that he was taken away for a little while. But mostly my feelings were numb; my body and brain were in shock.
Death and Resurrection
When we got home, he would be up all night crying; I would be crying too. When evening
I had expected to spend my days celebrating new
We must become like him in his death to know the power of his resurrection. This is true for martyrs being burned at the stake and for new mothers facing sleepless nights. It is true at the end of our lives and throughout our days on earth. We must bury ourselves like a grain of wheat, so our death will bear fruit (John 12:24).
Death is a unique part of motherhood. As
As soon as a baby comes into this world, it cries for its mother. This requires much bending and breaking from us. Our independence is being killed all the day long as we die to some of our old ways to take on a new role.
But through the dying, beauty is birthed. God uses the curse of death to bring new life. And it’s the only way to the joy of true life. As Paul says, “For as by a man came death, by a man has come also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive” (1 Corinthians 15:21–22). Because of the second man, we now have resurrection in our souls, because “our inner self is being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16).
Entering the Door of Motherhood
My resurrection moment in motherhood came when I saw what God was killing
Motherhood has humbled me. It has shown me how weak and needy I really am. This is a good death to die, and I
When we admit we’re weak mothers, we have a fuller realization of how strong a God we serve. This is the place of death where God swoops down and displays his resurrection power to us (2 Corinthians 12:9–10). In
I didn’t expect death when I first became a mother. I was surprised by the dark struggle. But now being pregnant with my third, I’m better equipped to embrace it. The death I felt with my first has turned into anticipation with my third. I know there will still be hardship ahead, but I’m more confident of God’s grace toward me, more willing to admit my weakness, and more ready to be spent and broken for him and my baby girl. God has birthed life from my death, thereby making me more like Christ. I have been able to experience the death and resurrection of Jesus by walking through the door to motherhood.
This article was written by Liz Wann and originally appeared at Desiring God. Find it here.