joshua harris


Dec 08, 2017 by Abigail Sanchez

Bestselling Author Joshua Harris Admitted To The World He Was Wrong

In a recent Ted Talk, Joshua Harris, bestselling author of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", admitted to the world that he got it some of it wrong. Harris discovered that what he told the world, that the world's view of dating is a problem and Christians need to totally overhaul their approach, was mistaken about a large part of his approach to sexuality and relationships.

Joshua admits during this talk that at the time of writing the book in the late 1990's, he was motivated by fear of messing up, being heartbroken, hurting others, and even sex, despite sharing some perspectives that were good and healthy relational outlooks (such as being whole without a significant other or focusing on personal development).

As he grew older Harris learned that the book he'd written had actually hurt some people's approach to dating. Once he had his initial wake up call when talking to a friend in grad school, Joshua opened up to receive feedback from countless others, eventually discovering that the majority of people who read "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" were hurt by it.

The news was painful to him, even causing him to question his identity that had been built around being a famous author at the age of 21. In this Ted Talk, Harris shares some important points about "what it looks like to face up to moments when we don't get everything right even when we're well-intentioned."

"I believe that this is the pathway of growth for me... I'm discovering that there is transformational power in admitting you're wrong."

These are the three biggest lessons Joshua Harris learned from being wrong in front of the whole world.

1. "Evolution always involves death."

In other words, changing and growing as an individual "means admitting that you got some things wrong and letting those things die."

2. "You can't just rush through this process of transformation."

Most people like to just rush through being wrong by changing their outward behavior so people won't pay attention to the fact that you got something wrong. But Harris points out "if you do that, you're not gonna grow."

3. "Admitting that you're wrong will tick some people off."

"Expect resistance... There are people in your life who are invested in the old you. There are people in your old life who want you to stay the same." Joshua teaches us that when you're wrong about something, the people who agreed with you were wrong too. And some of those people won't want to admit they were wrong.

"You don't have to be so afraid of being wrong," Harris concludes. "You can move toward people that seeing the world differently than you do and not be so terrified that they might change your mind."

Not being afraid of being wrong "means that you can dream and dare and risk and live."

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