After asking if it's "okay to be crass" on the issue, Piper bluntly explains that "there’s more power in sexiness if your aim is to hook a man in his groin and not his godliness. Of course. This is not rocket science. That’s not the way you want to find a husband. Please, it’s not."
The listener, Piper explains, comes closest to the true root of the problem when she says, “I continuously look for compliments, and when I do get one, my ego is fed. When I don’t get one, my ego craves attention.”
"Now that’s right, and it’s not unique to women," Piper says. "John Piper is as vulnerable to that as anybody. It is utterly and deeply human. It is very near the core of what makes us fallen sinners. The Pharisees, Jesus said, lived for the approval and praise of other people, and he called it one of the most deadly dispositions in the world."
Instead of looking to outside approval and compliments, we can look to Scripture, particularly Romans 2:28–29 explains the inward nature of true faith: “His praise is not from man but from God” (Romans 2:29).
In fact, 1 Peter 3:3-5 gives us the clearest instruction of how our inward faith directly affects our outward appearance: “Do not let your adorning be external — the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear — but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves..."