"So there was just a lot that was tied up in church for me that was really difficult," Assad explained. "And once I started going to therapists and doing all this work to undo—or at least to examine that stuff—I slowly started finding that at the end of the day I have all of these big questions, and yeah, I don’t really know how clearly I believe all the things I used to, but at the bottom of all of that, I think I’m a believer."
"I don’t think I’m someone who looks at the universe and says this is meaningless. I tried to say that, and it just doesn’t ring true to me," the singer continued. "So this record is kind of like my foray back into prayer, worship and rediscovering a God that I think I had very, very bad ideas about for a long time."
Assad's first single, "Deliverer", from the new album, takes an approach to theology of challenging her own preconceived concepts of God to reach who He really is. "So I have [this song saying], 'You are not possessive, You are not invasive, You are not controlling' All these things that I’ve kind of been taught that God was, and I no longer believe that God is, so I was trying to chip away at the block of marble and see, like, what is under here? When I chip away, what is not, what is?"
As for whether or not she has found security in her identity as a believer, Assad credits the diversity and fluidity of her Catholic faith: "Being part of a spiritual movement that’s so old [Catholicism] makes it possible for me to kind of go, 'Well, I don’t know how I fit, but I know that I do because this movement is so wide and so broad that it has housed people from all different thought traditions.'...that’s been helpful to me to feel a part of something so old and broad as the Catholic tradition is."
Assad concluded the interview with concerns about Christians in her generation who, after deconstructing and renewing their faith and their likelihood of being cast out of the evangelical community: “What is going to happen if I’m open about this? And I’ve seen people—[for example] when Rob Bell wrote Love Wins, John Piper tweeted “Farewell, Rob Bell”—people are going to tell you that you don’t belong but you have to insist: “I do belong and you can’t tell me that I don’t. It’s not your place to tell me that.”