Does he show signs of humility that looks outside himself instead of endlessly within? Has he discussed his pursuit with a godly mentor, pastor, or small-group leader? It could be a problem if he has such men in his life and yet has not allowed them a voice. “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed” (Proverbs 15:22). “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment” (Proverbs 18:1).Care Enough to Speak
Situations will vary, prudence must be applied, prayers offered, and considerations of your daughter’s desires appropriately measured, but in the end, a father (or brother) in the Lord should speak with a daughter’s (or sister’s) pursuer. Can you think of any good reason not to?
As one preacher has asked, if a man came to the door asking to take our car keys, ensuring he’d have our vehicle back by nine that evening, would any of us just hand him the keys? We would have questions for him: Who is he? Is he trustworthy? What are his intentions? The question then becomes, Are our daughters (and sisters) of less value than melded steel resting on four wheels?
Even if she is not a Christian but under your roof and provision, and protesting to make her own choices, remember that God calls us to care for our children even more than they, at times, want you to care for them. Parenting isn’t about popularity and style points, but loving provision and protection.
So, while the daughters of this age date with less supervision than ever, men of God rise to the occasion with grace and truth, to ask directly, speak clearly, and love with righteous intervention.
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