There’s no way we need to propagate the false narrative that in any way suggests, being without a “Valentine” on February 14th has any bearing on our worth, value or identity. We are not social outcasts or leapers. Far from it!
What if we slightly tweak our perspective a bit? It’s great to have a day to focus on love! Isn’t LOVE the very essence of Valentine’s Day? Fantastic! If only we could keep that idea going 365 days a year. Imagine that.
Fellow singles, we can totally take advantage of Valentine’s Day, not retreat! The last thing this day needs to do is represent a pity party for those without a “Valentine.”
The total beauty and majesty of Jesus and the Kingdom is the fact we as His bride, followers, brother’s, sister’s, and children of a good, good Father receive the ability to redefine reality. We get to change the game and align with Heaven’s perspective. As Kingdom kids, we call the shots because we know exactly how loved we truly are.
Four Verses About God’s Love for YOU!
“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” (John 15:13 NKJV)
“By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” (1 John 3:16 NKJV)
“Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven.” (Luke 10:20 NKJV)
Jesus laid His life down for YOU because He is crazy, head over heels, in love with YOU! The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit love you beyond words. Too often, the difficulty of relationships with humans can cloud this reality. The truth is, God loves you with an everlasting love.
The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. (Jeremiah 31:3 NKJV)
1. A Tangible Expression of Love
Now some of you out there might want something more than some scriptural references and a pep talk. I get that. This wouldn’t be the “Ultimate Survivor’s Guide” if we left it there.
Be proactive in loving people. Don’t sit back and wait for someone to demonstrate some random act of love. Go out and show people the love of Jesus Christ and watch how your day becomes unforgettable. Maybe you’ll have the best Valentine’s Day ever?
On one Valentine’s Day, a group of us got together, made some cookies and printed up a list of Bible verses that talked about God’s love. We kind of stole the “fortune cookie” concept and gave it an upgrade – better cookies and the Truth. After bagging some delicious chocolate cookies, we took our file of verses (blueletterbible.org is great for finding all the verses on God’s love), put it into a Word document and printed out the scriptures, cut them out and bagged them with the cookies. We stormed the ASU college campus armed with cookies, looking for students to cheer up and bless. People received the cookies and read the Bible verses while eating the cookies. Not to mention, you can offer a hug, prayer and tell them that Jesus loves them or some combination depending on the interaction.
This can be done with other singles or couples and singles collectively. It’s a ton of fun to give people love in a tangible, safe manner. Plus, you might just meet that special someone in the process of reaching others with the love of Jesus. Wouldn’t that be fun to tell the story of how you originally met on Valentine’s Day, sharing the love of Jesus with others? Sounds like a cool testimony to me. God works in mysterious ways, if we simply say, “Yes” to His invitations and creativity.
2. The Inside Scoop
Jesus and Paul had the inside scoop regarding relationships and marriage. Both speak to the reality of how the life of singleness is preferred over that of marriage. In this season of singleness, rejoice! Discover who God has made you to be. Take advantage of the time and, if need be, pursue inner healing in areas of brokenness from the past. Singleness is not a curse, but an opportunity! God is good and doesn’t withhold any good thing from His children. Partner with Him in love and discover where He’s at work in your life today.
Jesus Christ and Apostle Paul, both advocate for a life of singleness (if you’re not already married). Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians 7 both communicate the benefits of singleness.
His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with [his] wife, it is better not to marry.” But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: “For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.” (Matthew 19:10-12 NKJV)
Notice in the scripture below how Paul instructs the Church to not even seek a spouse. He also highlights the fact that those in a marriage relationship will have more challenges in the flesh. Paul, also suggests it’s possible to be happier single than married.
“For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry…” (1 Corinthians 7:7-9 NKJV)
Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you. (1 Corinthians 7:27-28 NKJV)
A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment–and I think I also have the Spirit of God. (1 Corinthians 7:39-40 NKJV)
Paul directs our focus to the things of the Lord. How can we serve Him? We are not to get married out of desperation, but out of the Lord’s provision. Marriage isn’t designed to save us from our current life reality. It’s not an escape parachute. This mentality, sadly, is too pervasive in the Church today. Entering marriage out of fear, rather than wholeness, will only multiply the problems. Christians are not desperate but loved by our Father in Heaven who is the giver of good gifts.
3. Trust the Lord
Fundamentally, trusting the Lord is what it all boils down to. He can do more than we can think, hope or imagine. When we let go and trust God in this area of our life, rather, than taking it into our own hands, it is an act of LOVE towards God. Patience and trusting God, says to God, “You are who You say You are. You love me. You have good plans for me. You only give me things when I’m ready to receive them. I don’t need to “make” it happen or force it because You, God, are trustworthy with every area of my life.”
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV)
Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4 NKJV)
Remember, if it is your desire to be married, you might be still alone because He wants you to marry the right person. Celebrate!
“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18)
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” (Proverbs 18:22)
“House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” (Proverbs 19:14)
Be encouraged, God made you super unique, with tons of talent, skills and you are downright amazing! He made you a special someone out there, in the same manner of awesomeness. Do not fear that someone else will get your special someone or you missed him or her somehow. God is sovereign. He knows your address.
Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and everything else will be added unto you.
Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, no matter how you choose to celebrate the day!
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