In short, you continue to become the person God needs you to be, the person your spouse will find inviting and safe as God continues to work on their heart.
Stories abound about God intervening and restoring marriages even where neglect, abuse, addiction or other serious problems have been present. Those problems can be healed. I don't know whether or not that will happen in your marriage; remember, both you and your spouse get a vote, and you cannot vote for your spouse. But staying on your knees gives God an opportunity to do what He would be thrilled to do.
You can become healed regardless of what your spouse does or doesn't do. And as you do, your spouse will be presented with the opportunity to join you in that healing journey. You can't decide whether your spouse will or not, but your change will present him/her with that invitation.
Stay on your knees. Keep asking God to show you who He needs you to be to your spouse in this season of your marriage. That may change from time to time. You may need to learn new communication skills, set difficult boundaries, take your grubby hands off your spouse or change some other part of your own behavior. Only ongoing prayer will help you know what it is that God is doing in you.
And your prayers may well be a deciding factor in God working a miracle in your spouse's heart as well.
Decide in advance what you want your testimony to be. Please don't settle for "I stayed even though it was miserable."
Instead, let your testimony be, "God used my painful marriage to work an amazing transformation in me."
And who knows? Perhaps your testimony will also be, "God restored our marriage."
P.S. These are appropriate steps once you have become clear that God is asking you to stay. There are times God releases someone from a marriage. If you are facing serious problems, seek God's answer to that question first."
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