Life

Oct 24, 2016 by Will Maule

10 Hilariously Brutal Christian Breakup Lines

Breaking up with someone is tough. You may simply have drifted apart, or you may feel as if the Lord is instructing you to break it off. That being said, Christians sometimes make the worst excuses, and use Christianese language to get themselves out of a relationship without providing any true explanation. These form of breaking up can be both hilarious and brutal. Relevant provides us with some of the worst. 

1. A girlfriend suggested I read "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. I didn't take the hint for a few months.

2. I got broken up with in a TEXT MESSAGE that said 'God took away my desire to date you.'

3. Dated a Catholic girl, I'm not catholic. told me she needed to be closer to God so she broke up w/ me by giving me up for lent.

4. These words echoed in the room even though it was a whisper, "It's not you...it's God." (Rather than, "It's not you. It's me.")

5. "The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want....you"

6. I once had a girl quote scripture and a supposed prophetic word to get me to not break up with her. Glad I married someone else :)

7. "It's like a water bottle. the more I date, the more holes will be in that bottle and the less water my wife will get." what??

8. Cheesy breakup: "I want to discern the episcopalian priesthood" (they can marry). Weeks later he asked someone else out.

9. A guy in Bible college 'interviewed'/dismissed me b/c I might hurt his potential in being above reproach. #IWasntEvenApplying

10. A great one I got early on as a Christian: "you've become too important to me, so I need to date just Jesus for awhile". Hugh?



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