4 Things Every Christian Should Know About Marital Sex

There is no doubt that sex is a big part of Christian marriage. It binds two people together both physically and emotionally, and is a highly spiritual act. But too often, Christians go into marriage with a false ideal of what their sexual relations will be like, and can even be left disappointed. That's why we must do our best to understand God's plan for sex, and to hold it in extremely high regard. Jake and Melissa Kicher writing at Relevant give us 4 things that they wish they knew about sex before they were married. 

1. Expect to be sexually incompatible at first.
"One of the common arguments used in favor of sleeping together outside of marriage is the importance of sexually compatibility. But in reality, compatibility isn’t something that can be tested out in a trial run. Rather it’s something that you build together through shared sexual experience. Just like anything you want to get good at, sex takes practice. You don’t expect to just pick up a guitar for the first time and play Mumford & Sons covers, so why would you expect electrifying compatibility right off the bat? Sexual incompatibility is a simple fact of every marriage when it first starts out (especially if you are both virgins), but all that really means is that you can now enjoy the process of learning with each other."

2. Take your time.
"Amidst the hormones and the excitement of your first time together, it is far better to go slow and take your time. For most women, it is normal for sex to be a little painful and uncomfortable at first. And this, for some, can change the pace of honeymoon intimacy. As great as some marriage books and pre-marital counseling can be, this is one of the reasons it’s good to also consult a gynecologist before the wedding. And a word for men—go slow and be understanding."

3. Your sex life will have ups and downs just like anything else.
"For every couple, it is normal to have ups and downs in your sex life. You will have some stretches when sex couldn't be better. You’ll have mutually satisfying, pure-fun sex—and you’ll have it multiple times a day. Then you’ll have some stretches where the rest of life has left you fried, and keeping things going in the bedroom will take some work. Stress, work deadlines, housework, busy schedules, pregnancy, kids, financial issues, health issues and any other thing you can think of that is normal in life all affect our sex drives."

4. Sex depicted in the movies leave some things out—including one very important thing we tend to overlook.
"When it comes to sex in the movies, there are lots of things that the writers leave out when putting together their scripts. Like when your sweater gets stuck over your head, or shoe laces become an impossible puzzle. Or the ever-romantic moment when you have to stop to think about birth control. Or how about when one of you is ready to go while the other just isn’t quite feeling in the mood."

"But there’s another thing sex on the big screen will never show you. James Bond can get with another girl every night, and sure, it might seem like it’s amazing every time. But it will never be able to depict one thing—and that’s the indescribable depth of intimacy between a husband and wife."

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