May 04, 2017 by Will Maule

'Joel Osteen Dives Off Stage To Prevent Man From Opening His Bible'

Satire Christian website The Babylon Bee has published a hilarious article entitled 'Joel Osteen Dives Off Stage To Prevent Man From Opening His Bible.' The site is well-known for its witty headlines including 'Scientists Abandon Search For Bill Nye's Credibility,' 'John MacArthur Announces New Commentary On His Previous Commentaries,' and 'Rob Bell Runs Out Of Doctrines To Deny.'

The latest article on Houston megachurch pastor Joel Osteen reads: "While preaching a sermon entitled “Claiming Your Comfort Zone,” Pastor Joel Osteen made a diving save from Lakewood Church’s stage Sunday to prevent a man in the front row from opening his Bible and checking the validity of the popular pastor’s words, sources confirmed."

It continues "The crowd immediately broke out into applause at the amazing feat, but Osteen merely smiled and pointed upward, giving glory to God for the breathtaking play."

“Prosperity gospel preachers practice this kind of stuff over and over again in seminary, but being able to keep your head on your shoulders in a live sermon situation is something different entirely,” one commentator said. “Osteen’s a pro.”

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