His story reminded me of Ruth Chapter 3. Ruth had to show some obvious interest in Boaz. Once she did, he took it from there!
My wife, for example, is five years older than me. Because of this I just assumed I had no chance. But she let me know in subtle but clear ways that she was open to my advances. Without any interest on her part, I would not have had the courage to pursue her. I did pursue her, I was the one who initiated our dating relationship, but she helped me out by letting me know in classy ways that it would be a possibility.
She invited me to spend time with her and her friends. She made it clear that she thought I was funny. She went out of her way to make me know she admired my walk with God. There was still risk involved for me to pursue her, but without her subtle signs of
Who Are You Flirting With?
This is the next question to ask when thinking about how the Bible can lead you in flirting righteously. If you show romantic interest in a married person, a person who is dating someone else, or someone you know is not marriage material, you are sinning.
The Bible makes it clear that Christians should not marry unbelievers or someone you would be unequally yoked with (2 Corinthians 6:14). Therefore you should only flirt with someone if you genuinely believe they meet the requirements of a godly spouse. I believe dating to date rather than dating for gauging marriage possibilities is unbiblical. Dating should have a focus and purpose, and that purpose is to determine whether marriage should or should not happen between two people.
If you learn through dating this person is or is not your future spouse, either
Therefore, when flirting, don’t flirt with “men” or “women.” Rather, respectfully flirt with “a man” or “a woman” that you like and see marriage potential in. If you flirt thoughtlessly with people of the opposite sex just for fun, this is not right. But if you like someone who loves the Lord but that person doesn’t seem to be noticing you in a romantic way, it’s my belief that flirting is a viable, non-sinful option if done in the correct way.
How Are You Flirting?
This is perhaps the most important questions when talking about what the Bible says about flirting.
You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body
“Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. 7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.” (Titus 2:6-8)
“The Lord said:Because the daughters of Zion are haughty and walk with outstretched necks, glancing wantonly with their eyes, mincing along as they
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)
“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold
Adorning is a verb that means “to make more beautiful or attractive.” Flirting through dressing provocatively is sinful. Flirting that has sexual undertones is sinful. Flirting in a way that shows a lack of self-control, respect for others, or that brings shame to Christ in any way is evil and should be avoided.
A general principle that I believe will help guide godly flirting is to put the emphasis on the other person, not yourself. To exalt yourself, to reveal more of your body, or to be like the women described in Isaiah 3:16-17 is to miss the heart of what we are saying here.
But to encourage someone you like, to verbally let her know that you thought her answer at Bible study was really well put, to
Summary: What Does the Bible Say About Flirting?
In summary, don’t do anything you think is sinful. Even if other people wouldn’t think it is
So, if you like someone who loves the Lord, show some interest. Flirt a little. As long as your motives and actions to not violate the guidance God has given us in the Bible, go for it and see what happens. You never know what could happen until you try.
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