How To Live A Life Free From Regret

What does a regret-free life look like? Is it even possible? Several years ago, Bronnie Ware attempted to answer that question. She interviewed hundreds of people, most in their final days on earth.

The result of these interviews was her book, The Top Five Regrets Of The Dying. The greatest regret of the dying, according to Ware, was that they would pass from this earth knowing their choices prevented them from honoring even half of their dreams.

It’s a sad reality that most people reach the end of life with regret. Why is that? How come more people in their final days don’t say, “I lived a meaningful life. I pursued my dreams. I made a difference.”

The answer? Most people don’t realize a meaningful life is a counter-intuitive life. The greatest truths, the keys to a full life, are wrapped inside competing ideas.

The first will be last. The greatest will be a servant. Through weakness, you are strong. The humble will be exalted.

You probably recognize these. Jesus spoke them.

I wonder if the greatest factor contributing to regret is our inability to see below the surface, to embrace the counter-intuitive life Jesus offered. Here are several counter-intuitive truths that lead to a meaningful life.

What you fear most reveals what you desire most.

My first full-time ministry job was at a church in Jackson, MS. The youth group included kids from a local children’s home. No Christian college or seminary prepares you for those stories of brokenness. Most of the kids at the children’s home wanted to be loved and accepted, but they put up walls that kept most of them from experiencing love.

The one thing they wanted was the one thing they feared most.

Some people fear vulnerability. Some fear intimacy. Others failure or losing their job.

If you want to live a regret-free life, fear God. He is the only one who can absorb all of your fear and turn it into love. He is the only one who can resurrect our struggles, forming something new and better.

You can’t love others until you learn to love yourself.  

This counter-intuitive truth is one of the great revelations of marriage. You can and most likely will project the insecurities, anxieties about yourself onto your spouse. But this truth spreads to all types of relationships. Until you come to peace with who you are – imperfections and all – you will struggle to maintain healthy relationships.

Until you come to peace with who you are – imperfections and all – you will struggle to maintain healthy relationships.

To accomplish great things is determined by how much value you add to the lives of other people. 

Your legacy, your capacity to change the world will be determined by how much value you add to other people.